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Passion

July 21, 2015

I had a profound realization today about myself.

Miles and decades ago, I took a fast ride down PCH1 from Long Beach south, on the back, with a new acquaintance. As we sat on the beach at sunset, this man asked me what my passions were. I had no idea. I was wallowing in a single desire that was not meant to be in my life.

Ever since, however, I have been stuck with the impression that I was not a passionate person. Today proved me so wrong, with multiple life circumstances colliding and bringing an unhealthy kind of passion to the fore of my personality. Not the mega-excited yet content and oh-so-Zen passion that I experience while riding, but the fiery energy that bursts forth at inconvenient times and can damage relationships if left unchecked.

With a “holy shit!” kind of realization, I realize my life’s challenging work is to harness this fiery passion, turn it into what Taijijuan masters term “equanimity” or inner peace, no matter what is happening externally.

Comments and advice welcome.

Peace,

LRRL

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Susan permalink
    July 22, 2015 12:10 am

    Hmm, so what I’m reading is that the fiery passion is too strong, so you’ve tamped it down to the point where you’ve convinced yourself that you’re not passionate at all to keep it in check. ? Is that right? How do we harness our fire that it warms and fuels us, but doesn’t burn us-that is the challenge.

    • July 22, 2015 12:18 am

      Now that I am thinking about this, yes, exactly! I find when I have a “fiery” or negative outburst, I then want to not display any kind of emotion, believing that I am now in a peaceful place. But that is actually not the case.

      How do we balance the passion so that when we are happy and lively and experiencing good passion, the opposite does not occur (when stressed or tired)? The nature of duality within our personalities bears exploration.

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